My Breakup Spell Is Watching Sex and the City

I have to confess something. In my 20s every time I was blissfully happy in a relationship, I would decide to watch Sex and the City. And like clockwork, it’s as if the universe seemed to press ‘pause’ on my love life. Suddenly, breakup drama unfolds like a bad soap opera. It’s almost like that show is my personal relationship litmus test. If I had a relationship survive me watching it in my 20s without disaster striking, I would watch the show still today without the fear of my marriage ending the day after.

The Breakup Curse of Sex and the City

There’s something about Sex and the City that feels like a secret breakup spell. Maybe it’s the way Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha navigate their love lives with such flair and chaos that it makes your own relationship feel like a fragile house of cards. You start comparing your partner to Mr. Big or fantasizing about a life filled with cosmopolitans and Manolo's. Suddenly, your own romance seems a little less glamorous, a little more complicated.

I remember the fourth time the curse happened to me, I was happily dating someone for months. Then I binge-watched a few episodes that night and the next day, my happy relationship ended with him breaking up with me out of the blue. Coincidence? I think not. It’s like the show stirs up all the relationship fears and expectations you didn’t even know you had. Next thing I knew I was crying going over the details with my 2 to 3 closest girlfriends somewhere in our city.

Over time, I realized it wasn’t magic or Manhattan moon cycles. It was a pattern I kept noticing in myself. Every time I pressed play on Sex and the City during a good relationship, something inside me shifted the energy in my actual real life, and it wouldn't be until I reconnected back with my girls that my delulu would finally be cured of the situation.

Symbolism of the Characters

These four iconic characters, each represents a different kind of dating personality and adventure, making it impossible not to see a bit of yourself, your partner, and your friends in the show. In times of heartbreak, these diverse personalities are not just characters on a screen; they represent the friends who stand by you, each offering something different yet equally valuable in your healing journey.

Each of these characters can symbolize friends in your life who embody similar traits, providing essential support. Having friends with these varied personalities can be incredibly beneficial during a breakup. Watching Carrie’s chaos, Miranda’s independence, Charlotte’s hope and Samantha’s boldness made me reflect on my own relationships through the lenses of my own friendship support system. Each friend brings a unique perspective and support style:

• Carrie: The friend who embraces the chaos of love, reminding you that it's okay to feel lost sometimes. Friends like Carrie can be great emotional support to help you process your feelings.

• Miranda: The independent friend who encourages you to focus on yourself and your goals, showing that self-love is crucial.  If you need practical advice, a friend like Miranda can provide grounded insights and practical solutions.

• Charlotte: The hopeful romantic who inspires you to believe in love again, even when things seem bleak. If you need optimism, Charlotte’s positivity can help you see the silver lining in tough situations.

• Samantha: The confident friend who teaches you the importance of self-empowerment and enjoying life beyond relationships. When you need confidence call your Samantha friend. Samantha’s boldness can inspire you to reclaim your power and enjoy your independence.

Keeping the DVDs as a “Breakup Tool”

Now, years later, I’m less afraid of the "break up" curse (if it’s even a thing) and remember more about what it taught me about true friendship, self-worth, and the ability to laugh at our romantic messes might be the real magic spell. Now in our 30s, my girlfriends and I laugh at the chaos in our 20s and remember that even the most glamorous love stories have their share of heartbreaks and breakups.

Even though I still have the series, I just keep my Sex and the City DVDs on the shelf these days as a “breakup tool.” in case my husband ever starts acting up, it’s like having a secret weapon I can threaten to binge-watch the series and watch the universe do its thing. Of course, I’m joking — mostly.

So, whether it’s a breakup curse or just a coincidence, one thing’s for sure: It will make you thankful to have friends to lean on and grow with during through your highs and lows.